Ways Young People Are Making Themselves Miserable

Hanging their happiness on That One Special Person.

Certain romance stories would like us to think that there is absolutely nothing more desirable than to have That One Special Person who is there for you all the time. In Romance Storyland, you don’t need anything else because you have TOSP to look after you and dote on you and tend to your every need. Are you sad? Did someone say something that upset you? Did things just not go your way? TOSP will hug you and kiss you and make it all better. All you need is TOSP.

Now, for the reality check.

This is a completely unfair burden to place upon anyone - you are essentially making or trying to make someone else responsible for your happiness, which is an impossible order for anyone to fill in the long-term. First, life is fickle - your partner will have obligations and responsibilities outside of you and won’t be able to be there for you all the time, which means that you’ll be wallowing in misery until xe comes back. Secondly, helping a person through their problems is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing - a person can only do so much before they need a break. Thirdly, people have interests and hobbies and friends that may not involve you - and expecting them to neglect these things for you all the time is just selfish.

Take it from a former lonely teenager: you need to take control of your own happiness. Talk to people, even if it’s only online. Try out new games and new hobbies or check out a new TV or book series. Find a cause you can get passionate about. You’ll feel much, much better for it - and when you do find someone, you’ll be a much better partner for them.

While we're on the subject, check out the article 13 Clingy Girlfriend Signs And How To Avoid It. If this sounds like you, try to follow the advice at the end of the article.

Getting obsessed with a tiny handful of things.

For example, becoming fixated on a few TV shows. Trouble is, when a season or even the whole show ends, you’ll be left feeling bereft and empty. I played this game when I was younger; it wasn’t fun.

The solution’s easy enough, of course: find more things to be interested in - TV shows, hobbies, whatever. No, it won’t make the sadness go away entirely, but it’ll help immensely. The best interests, of course, are the ones that don’t depend on other people to spoon-feed you new material - so get creative. Build up your own fictional universe or create an AU based on a finished series. Read up on a subject you know nothing about or try to take up a new skill - or in general, pretty much anything you’ll find in the article Tips To Be A More Interesting Person.

Refusing to accept compliments for their works or acheivements.

If someone compliments your artwork or writing, accept the compliment! If your gal-pal tells you your hair looks great, thank her! You'll feel better for it - whereas if you don't accept the compliment, you'll be reinforcing the belief that you're Just Never Good Enough, which will make you more miserable. See also: A Few Things You Really Need To Know As An Anxious Writer And/Or Artist.

Refusing to change themselves.

Upon the realization that their habits consistently drive people away, rather than try to change or modify these habits, they just... complain about or wallow in how they ruin everything and leave it at that. This makes about as much sense as suddenly discovering you have a huge bleeding gash wound - and instead of trying to bandage it, stop the bleeding, and potentially save your own life, you just sit and complain about how you have this huge bleeding wound that makes a mess everywhere.

If you know something you’re doing drives people away, don't sit around moping over how you ruin everything: TRY TO MAKE CHANGES. Believe it or not, it is possible! It may not happen overnight, but if you keep on trying, it WILL happen!

Also, take a look at:

We Are Who We Make Ourselves - Who Do You Want To Be?

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