The Voice of Reason vs. The Control Freak - The Difference

I often see people who have fancy themselves the voice of reason in online communities where they're really just being overly-controlling, or claim that characters with overly-controlling tendencies are just the voice of reason in their settings. So, here's a quick overview of the difference - because seriously, unrecognized control freaking is the source far too many problems.

The Voice of Reason

  1. Points out where actions could have negative consequences, and tries to discourage people from doing things that could be harmful.
  2. Is unbothered by things that simply aren't to own personal taste.
  3. Understands that sometimes, people have to make their own mistakes so they can learn from them.
  4. Offers advice, but doesn't try to force it onto others. Respects people when they don't want to take it.
  5. Treats others as thinking, independent beings who need freedom to learn, explore, and grow.
  6. Offers advice and help with sympathy and compassion.
  7. Is happy to let others be themselves.
  8. Accepts that people usually know what they want and what's best for themselves.

The Control Freak

  1. Tries to get people to stop doing or liking things that aren't to own personal taste, even though they don't harm or endanger anyone.
  2. Feels and displays contempt or disgust at anything that isn't to own personal taste.
  3. Constantly tries to "protect" people from making mistakes.
  4. Gives advice whether or not it's wanted. Acts offended or insulted when others don't want to take it.
  5. Treats others as miscreants or incompetents that need constantly minded.
  6. Thinks it's an unfortunate job, but somebody's got to do it.
  7. Is unhappy unless everyone is in line.
  8. Believes that those who refuse to comply just don't know what they want or what's best for themselves.

You might also like:

Confessions of a recovering micromanager (Offsite)
How To Recognize A Moral Abuser
How To Recognize Gaslighting
How To Spot Abusive & Manipulative People

On Writing & Roleplaying Wise Characters
On Writing & Roleplaying Characters Who Are Good Leader Material
On Writing & Roleplaying Smart Characters

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