1. An alien operating system that is strongly reminiscent of DOS.

2. An alien operating system that doesn't look like the latest trends in web design.

3. Alien technology that doesn't involve crystals or anything resembling crystals larger than the head of a pin whatsoever.

4. An alien race who has discovered the secret to enlightenment, and doggonit, they're gonna share it with you whether you like it or not, point blank and in crystal-clear terms!

5. An alien from a higher plane of existance who, while having and understanding all "human" emotions, doesn't have any more cosmic and/or profound knowledge than your average potato farmer.

6. Immortals who have learned to deal with the passing of a mortal friend as ordinary humans have learned to deal with the passing of a pet.

7. An alien race whose nature-worshipping habits and beliefs are completely unfounded and are in fact, harmful. (People sacrificies, anyone? Wild animal drives, anyone?)

8. A race of people known as "ancients" who, quite frankly, were nothing more than a bunch of ignorant yokels ruled by superstition.

9. Alien/futuristic technology that doesn't make an inordinate amount of beeps and bips when used. (Least of all a bip every time a single button is pushed. That would get SO nervewracking on a real computer.)

10. Perfectly nice and peaceable aliens who really don't like bright lighting.

11. Warlike, nasty aliens who also enjoy botany.

12. An ancient piece of technology or weaponry that has been rendered completely useless due to the natural wear and tear of time.

13. Carnivorous aliens who actually have a relatively peaceful and well-developed culture.

14. Sexually uninhibited aliens who are plagued by STDs. And pass them on to the Kirk-jerk of the episode.

15. An attractive alien from a sexually uninhibited culture who does not end up having sex with one of the main characters.

16. A race of aliens who enjoy hunting one particular life-form, and that life-form isn't sapient, let alone humanoid.

17. A prophecied event happens in a manner that doesn't involve the heroes in any way, shape, or form.

18. A prophecied event Just Doesn't Happen, point-blank.

19. The hero will actually meet an alien woman, fall in love with her, marry her, and they will live out a relatively happy marriage until one of them dies of natural causes at a ripe old age.

20. The child of someone with 1337 /\/\u74|\|7 p0\/\/44z (leet mutant powers) will inheirit no abilities whatsoever, will never develop any abilities whatsoever, and grow up to be a well-adjusted, productive, and yes, even relatively ordinary citizen.

21. A half-alien child will inherit none of the alien parent's 1337 41i3|\| p0\/\/44z (leet alien powers) whatsoever.

22. A half-alien child will inherit the less-than-attractive features of the alien parent or will combine alien/human features in a way that is less than attractive and will survive to adulthood to be a relatively well-adjusted individual. (At least as well-adjusted as most homely people are.)

23. A human male will fall in love with, of his own accord, an alien female who by most standards is pretty unattractive.

24. An alien race, who, when faced with a food shortage, will visit Earth and make off with pigs, rats, mice, and other animals that reach maturity and reproduce rather quickly.

25. A group of "black" aliens will have a richly-developed and highly intellectual culture. Alternatively, a "white" alien race will still be painting themselves, hopping around campfires, and making a terrible racket in an effort to drive away evil spirits.

26. A female will seize control of a ship, base, or whatever without using her sex appeal and playing the vamp even once.

27. A man and a woman will get into a physical fight. She will hand his derrier to him on a silver platter, and never at any future point will they fall in love.

28. A character who has a son will be married and stay married throughout the duration of the series.

29. An alien people who make some kind of trade agreement with Earthlings and don't have some kind of sneaky or questionable motive.

30. A turncoat will still be sympathetic to the people he/she left behind and will be reluctant to actually oppose them face-to-face, if only because they are his/her people, after all.

31. "Ancient technology" that turns out to be nothing more than a few rusty swords, a rotting canoe, and a flint - in other words, ancient technology!

32. A white, glowy being that is, in fact, indescribably evil.