If it makes you look like you placed a basket of fruit or a bouquet on your head, you probably shouldn't wear it.
If it somehow makes you look reminiscent of a clown, you shouldn't wear it.
Collars should generally have as little frill as possible.
High, buttoned-up collars look very distinguished. And sexy.
Somebody besides Evil Overlords needs to start wearing red, black, and gold. Those colors look good.
Synthetics are nasty.
Pants should never fit loosely around the waist or tush.
Loose sleeves are always sexy. Especially when gathered at the wrist.
Socks rising above Western boots = tacky.
Stripe prints = little creativity.
Naturalistic colors such as brown and green are always good.
If a certain style of shirt is usually tucked in, then by all means should it be tucked in.
If it makes you look like a sack of potatoes, you shouldn't wear it.
A shoe should never be so pointed as to make one think of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Short people should by all means avoid capris.
Sleeves that are poofy and round at the top usually look silly.
If you have a nice waist, don't try to disguise it. A nice waist is a beautiful thing.
If your stomach is just round enough as to hang out even slightly over your pants, NEVER WEAR A MIDRIFF!
If it looks like underwear, then under no circumstances should it be worn as outerwear.
The tush is not a billboard, notepad, or any place whatsoever to put writing of any kind.
Wrapping oneself in inane amounts of clothing and baubles to show one's status or how fashionable one is went out a long time ago.
Big round collars strongly resemble baby bibs.
If it looks like it was induced by LSD, you probably shouldn't wear it.
Black looks good on almost anyone. Except when it's vinyl.
If it somehow impedes the natural flow of oxygen, you probably shouldn't wear it.
Skimpy, skin-tight suits should only be worn by ~~superheroes~~ no-one.
If you only plan on wearing it because it's "in style," then you shouldn't wear it to begin with.
If it's made from enough materials that you could modestly clothe three or more people from its materials, then you probably shouldn't wear it.
If the entire outfit is made from roughly the same amount of material as a bath towel, then you probably shouldn't wear it.
If it requires five minutes of unfastening just to use then restroom, then you probably shouldn't wear it.
Rather than make people pay excruciating prices to own clothing with the company's logo emblazoned for all to see, big-name companies should pay us for advertising their product. Since they do not and will not do this, I will feel no special need to wear their product.
The fact that a major name designed it is reason enough not to wear it.
If it makes your head resemble something in the allium family, then you shouldn't wear it.